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A complete siddur (prayer book) for the period of bereavemen



The laws and customs of the year of mourning.

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 The Yahrzeit Organization
Top 20 Question's and Answers

The Yahrzeit Organization takes no Halacha responsibility for the answers given and advises every one to consult with their local Rabbi at all times.

The following are questions and answers that have been collected over the years.

All Naming Questions
Kaddish Question's and Answers
General Question's and Answers
More Question's

What date would this be in the year XXXX
Where can I purchase Yahrzeit candles
I would like a copy of the Yizkor and Yahrzeit prayer.
Where can I get a copy of the prayer for Yahrzeit in English
I am trying to find the following Psalm in Hebrew
Am I suppose to light the candle on the evening preceding.
What tehillim are said at one's relative's grave site.
Can I say Kaddish
The meaning of the Kaddish
The meaning of the yahrzeit candle
A Yahrzeit candle lighting prayer
Some appropriate prayers to be said at an unveiling
What is better for the sole regarding Kaddish?
Ritual used for the unveiling
Can a non Jew arrange a Kaddish for a Jew
Can you have too many Kaddish prayers
Are you familiar with any yahrzeit computer programs that may be utilized by a small shull?
I am looking for a computer program that can generate yahrzeit date
Where to find books and prayers on the web

Who wrote this website and when
I have a question about a name




A)You may find useful information at
www.artscroll.com or www.jewishsoftware.com


Q)What date would this be in the year XXXX
A)
Calender


Q) I cannot find anywhere to purchase Yahrzeit candles.
A) Try
http://www.kosherclub.com

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Q) I would like to know where I can get a copy of the prayer for Yahrzeit in English and to pray it in Hebrew, My grand parents are orthodox and have past away, I plan to convert to Judaism and would like to do this for them. In the mean time is there any information that I need to know about this?
A) A local Jewish Bookstore or
www.artscroll.com


Q) I would like a copy of the yizkor prayer.
A) A local Jewish Bookstore or
www.artscroll.com or www.jewishsoftware.com


Q) In observing a family member's yarhrzeit, am I suppose to light the candle on the evening preceding the day they passed away? They passed away in the morning.
A) Yes at or after nightfall you would light
According to Jewish law night begins the next day


Q) Can a non Jew arrange a Kaddish for a Jew?
A) Yes it is most merits and respectful

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Q) Can you have too many Kaddish prayers?
A) No Each persons Kaddish is counted separately and in its own merit to the departed


Q) I am trying to find the following Psalm in Hebrew (transliterated into English letters): His glory is great in thy salvation: Honor and majesty they dost lay upon Him (Tehillim/Psalm 21:6) I only have this in the English version and want to read the Hebrew version. I believe my name (Hod) is in it. Do you have the transliteration into Hebrew.
A) A local Jewish Bookstore or
www.artscroll.com or www.jewishsoftware.com

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Q) Is there such a prayer as a Yahrzeit candle lighting prayer which can be said when lighting the Yahrzeit candle for a departed loved wife? If so, where could it be found.
A) There isn't any specific prayer to be said but as you light the candle you should say "l'ilui nishmas..." and then the Hebrew name of your wife and then "bas" and then her father's Hebrew name. This means "I am lighting this candle so that the soul of _____ shall be elevated."

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Q) What tehillim are said at one's relative's gravesite.
A) The following tehillim are recited when one goes to a cemetery 33, 16,17, 82, 91,104,130, and afterwards 119 only those verses that make up the deceased first name, and after that those verses that make up the word neshama-nun, win, mem, hay.


Q) Is there a prayer we say when lighting the yahrzeit candle? My father's first yahrzeit starts tonight.
A) There isn't any specific prayer to be said but as you light the candle you should say "l'ilui nishmas..." and then the Hebrew name of your wife and then "bas" and then her father's Hebrew name. This means "I am lighting this candle so that the soul of _____ shall be elevated."

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Q) I am trying to find the following Psalm in Hebrew (transliterated into English letters): His glory is great in thy salvation: Honour and majesty they dost lay upon Him (Tehillim/Psalm 21:6) I only have this in the English version and want to read the Hebrew version. I believe my name (Hod) is in it. Do you have the transliteration into Hebrew? Thank you in advance Hod.
A) You can try www.artscroll.com or www.jewishsoftware.com

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Q) Are there any prayers that Jews say on behalf of their non Jewish loved ones? I am not a relative but a close friend of the deceased. I would like to say a prayer on his behalf but am afraid of doing something wrong. Please Help
A) You can really say many prayers for them if you wish... Some examples are Psalms
http://www.yahrzeit.org/psalms.html (choose the ones most meaningful to you) Or the Kaddish http://www.yahrzeit.org/kaddish.html which, however, must be recited in a Minyan of ten Jewish men at the appropriate times in the prayer service...

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Q) I wonder if it would be possible for you to E mail me the ritual used for the unveiling of a loved ones stone.
A) Try
www.artscroll.com or www.jewishsoftware.com

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Q) My paternal uncle is ill, aged, and may pass away within weeks/months. He has no children. After my own father died when I was a child, my uncle made sure that I was provided for through college. I wish to say Kaddish for him, am I able to do this.
A) Yes

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Q) Would you be able to provide (aside from the mourner's kaddish) some appropriate prayers to be said at an unveiling? Any prayers would be appreciate
A) The following tehillim is recited at the grave 33,16,17,82,91,104,130, and than 119 only those verses that spell out the decease's first name and afterwards the verses that spell out neshama "nun" "win" mem" hay" followed by kel moleh and kaddish.


Q)What is better for the soul regarding Kaddish?
Should one have Kaddish said by one person saying only for that sole once a day, Or 3 times a day said by someone who is saying for more then one soul
A) It is better for one to say Kaddish for one Neshama a day than get someone to Say Kaddish for many people

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Q) My 20 year old son was killed in a car accident three weeks ago. To help me deal with my grief I have been reading about how others handle such a tradgedy. In my reading I came across the Jewish prayer called the Kaddish. I have read the English translation of the Kaddish, however I fail to see how these words help the mourners of the dead or the soul of the dead. I mean no disrespect. Obviously, I am not Jewish. Could you explain more about the meaning of the Kaddish.
A) I am sorry for your loss. I to lost my daughter when she was 12. the kaddish is a prayer that reinforces our belief in g-d that all that happens is for the good for he is the one who runs this world even though we at this point do not understand the meaning of the event and why the child was taken from us at such a young age. nevertheless g-d is the supreme ruler and it is in his blueprint of life that this should happen. furthermore the kaddish represents that g-d will resurrect the dead and that is a fundamental concept in the Jewish religion. as the Talmud states that 40 years before the final redemption g-d will resurrect the dead.
A#2) The kaddish works in the following way. The person who says the kaddish is praising G-d and the soul of the departed is viewed as having inspired that praise and is therefore rewarded for the kaddish. Secondly, the fact that the mourners have accepted G-d's decision, painful as it may have been, and continue to praise G-d through the kaddish is a credit to the memory of the deceased. Someone with such friends and family, whom he influenced to some degree, is certainly deserving of respect in the next world...
Continued
Q#2)
Thank you for your reponse to my question about the Kaddish. I am truly sorry you and your wife had to endure the same tragedy we have. Your message generated more questions than it answered. If you are busy and do not want to persue this conversation, please let me know. I will take no offense. I believe what you are telling me is that our natural instinct is to blame g-d for taking our loved one and the repetition of the Kaddish forces us to turn that grief and anger into praise and hope for the future. It strengthens our faith and alleviates some of the grief as well. But do Jews really believe that there is a master "blueprint" and that everything we do is pre-ordained? I dislike people that blame g-d for every thing wrong that happens to us, "It was g-d's will". Personally, I believe we are in more control of our destiny. When g-d chased Adam and Eve from the garden of Eden, he forced us into the world of good and evil and gave us intelligence and freewill to deal with this world. Over 98% of our DNA is identical to monkeys and apes yet that 2% is the difference between man and animal. It is our responsibility to use this intelligence and freewill to promote good over evil. I believe that is what g-d wants his children to do. When a drunk driver hits and kills a child, it is not g-d's will to kill children, it is our responsibility as individuals and a society to keep drunk drivers off the road. When that child dies, it is not g-d who has failed us, it is we who have failed g-d.
My son had no business driving his new pickup 100mph on a country road at midnight. It grieves me to say this but he is responsible for his death, not g-d. Naturally, I want to blame myself for his actions. I was his father and teacher. I brought him up in the Christian faith because that is what I was taught. We need organized religion to help us use this gift of intelligence and freewill. None of us are perfect, all we can do is try our best to live up to g-d's expectations. I have two younger children to raise now, one is 18 and the other 10. I say I am a Christian yet I have never read the whole Bible. Apparently, I know even less about Judaism. I thought resurrection was a Christian idea from Jesus' life and that the raising of the faithful dead was from the Book of Revelations. I have a vague recollection that there is also reference to the end of the world in the book of Daniel. I thought the Talmud were scrolls of Jewish law and rules to live by. I may be opinionated but I do not pretend to know everything. That is why I am argumentative an ask so many questions. Would it offend you if I add the Kaddish to my morning prayers?
A#2) In the Talmud we learn that we live a life based on the blueprint that g-d has made. yes their is free will but it is in the framework of the blueprint. there are many great rabbis who have stated a long time ago that g-d has established that in every generation and at every year their will be sacrifices. why? we cannot explain everything that happens and we are not allowed
( this is the administrator I do not thing the Rabbi meant "not allowed" in the Jewish law sense) to ask question for we do not know the answers. for example the holocaust why did so many people have to die Jews and non Jews. the rabbis answer that if one looks into the matter one may fill volumes of books with questions about life and the way things happen in ones life but there is one answer and that is that it is the will of g-d. I can see your point that your son was driving 100 miles an hour and therefore you feel that he caused it to happen himself. but in the Jewish religion we say that it was his choice and that if that is the way he wanted it than g-d let it be that way.

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Q) I am a current student at Towson University in Maryland. I am taking a Death, Dying, and Bereavement class and I have an assignment that asks me to pick 10 items that are related to death in our culture and put it into a time capsule to be opened in 100 years. I wanted to put a yahrtzeit candle into the time capsule, however, I have a question about it? I just wanted to make sure that I knew its exact meaning. Is it to remember the deceased during bothYom Kippur and on the anniversary of their death? If this is not the exact meaning, can someone please inform me of the true meaning so that I can include this in my time capsule?
A)The yahrzeit candle represents the soul. Because of the verse "Ner hashem Nishmas Adam" (The light of G-d is the soul of man) the soul became associated with the candle. This is the reason the bride and groom, when they are walked to the chuppah (marriage canopy) by their parents, their parents are carrying candles. So in answer to your question, the yahrzeit candle is to represent the soul of the deceased and to remember them.

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Q) I am using information on your website for a bibliography and in order to fully document you properly I need some information. Who wrote the website and when? I would greatly appreciate it if you could email it back to me.
A) It was developed from several different Jewish books. Reviewed by Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohen ( a noted author) and edited by a English professor.
It was posted 9/1998








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