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A complete siddur (prayer book) for the period of bereavemen



The laws and customs of the year of mourning.

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The Yahrzeit Organization
 General Question's and Answers

The Yahrzeit Organization takes no Halacha responsibility for the answers given and advises every one to consult with their local Rabbi at all times.

The following are questions and answers that have been collected over the years.

All Naming Questions
Top 20 Question's and Answers
Kaddish Question's and Answers
More Question's

 General Question's

What date would this be in the year XXXX
Jewish burial pose
Is it appropriate to light a 24 hour flame on Yizkor days
Where can I find sunrise and set times
Is it permitted to say yizkor at home
Do I say Yizkor this Yom Kippor
Adar I or Adar II
What is Mishnah
Is there any foundation to the burning of the "7 day candle
Outline of the main stages in the growth of the Mishnah
In the bible does the soul live forever
Are there any prayers that Jews say on behalf of their non Jewish
I have been lighting a candle ever since his passing.
My mother's father's Yahrzeit Rosh Chodesh Ellul.
Practice washing or any other acts on behalf of the dead
What is the custom for a person mourning a parent re: seudat mitzvah for Purim
The meaning of the yahrzeit candle
Judaism by internet courses or seminars
Why does the rabbi put three shovels of dirt in the grave at the funeral
I am planning a siyum mishnayos for the first yahrzeit
The Jewish religion and especially Mishnah.
If Passover should happen to fall on Shabbat in any given year
Could you provide the dates on which Yizkor is said for the next year or two
Is the year of mourning determined by the English or the Jewish calendar
Can you tell me when the jewish calendar was put into use
When is the right date for the matzevah setting
When is the first yahrzeit in a year with adar I and II
Do we light the candle on the preceeding evening, or on the morning
I would like to get correct yahrzeits for various members of my family
Something about covering the mirrors with black sheets
The Yahrzeit falls on the second night of passover. Is it proper to light a memorial candle




You may find useful information at
www.artscroll.com or www.jewishsoftware.com


Q) In observing a family member's yarhrzeit, am I suppose to light the candle on the evening preceding the day they passed away? They passed away in the morning.
A) Yes the at or after nightfall the you would light

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Q)Information concerning Jewish burials. I'm particularly looking for anything concerning the burial pose, if there is a specific one?
A) The Jewish dead are buried face up, lying on their backs, with their arms fully extended at their sides (not on their chests). You might be able to find more information on Jewish burials in general from one of the Jewish websites on mourning or in Jewish books on mourning. One book that comes to mind that you might find helpful is "The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning" by Rabbi Maurice Lamm.


Q) I would like a copy of the yizkor prayer.
A) A local Jewish Bookstore or
www.artscroll.com


Q) Is it appropriate to light a 24 hour flame on Yizkor days
A) Yes

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Q) Where can I find sunrise and set times
A)
http://aa.usno.navy.mil/AA/data/docs/RS_OneYear.html


Q) I am trying to find the following Psalm in Hebrew (transliterated into English letters): His glory is great in thy salvation: Honor and majesty they dost lay upon Him (Tehillim/Psalm 21:6) I only have this in the English version and want to read the Hebrew version. I believe my name (Hod) is in it. Do you have the transliteration into Hebrew.
A) A local Jewish Bookstore or
www.artscroll.com or www.jewishsoftware.com

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Q) Is it permitted to say yizkor at home if the bereaved must travel by car to shul on a holiday.
A) If a person cannot get to shul in order too say yizchor with the rest of the shul. one is permitted to say it at home.


Q) Is it permitted to say yizkor at home if the bereaved must travel by car to shul on a holiday.
A) If a person cannot get to shul in order too say yizchor with the rest of the shul. one is permitted to say it at home.


Q)What date would this be in the year XXXX
A)
Calender



Q) My Father passed away this past March. My Question is do I say Yizkor this Yom Kippor? I know I still say the Mourners Kaddish, but I am unsure of Yizkor.
A) there is a dispute among the rabbi's if one should recite yizkor the first year. some rabbis are of the opinion that is should not be recited since one has very bad feeling and will start to cry and will nor be able to control themselves however many rabbis are of the opinion that today one is able to control themselves and therefore they should recite it even the first year. therefore it is up to you how you feel if you can control yourself than you should recite yizkor and light a candle if you cannot than you should still light the candle.

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Q) What tehillim are said at one's relative's gravesite.
A) The following tehillim are recited when one goes to a cemetery 33, 16,17, 82, 91,104,130, and afterwards 119 only those verses that make up the deceased first name, and after that those verses that make up the word neshama-nun, win, mem, hay.



Q) My father passed away on March 1, 1999, the 13th of Adar 5759. Since this year, 5760, is a leap year, and has 2 months of Adar, will my father's yahrzeit be in Adar I or Adar II.
A) The yartzeit is always in adar ll but some have the minhag also to light a candle in adar l but if that is not your custom than just observe adar ll.



Q) What is Mishnah? I have heard it used in an Apostolic church and I am not sure why and how they are using this term. I am a diligent Bible study and want to learn all I can about God's Word.
A) Mishnah are the torah laws which were set up in a manner that one should not forget them. The Talmud expands on them and was compiled from over 500 years of discussions on the Mishnah.

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Q) I am trying to find the following Psalm in Hebrew (transliterated into English letters): His glory is great in thy salvation: Honour and majesty they dost lay upon Him (Tehillim/Psalm 21:6) I only have this in the English version and want to read the Hebrew version. I believe my name (Hod) is in it. Do you have the transliteration into Hebrew? Thank you in advance Hod.
A) You can try www.artscroll.com or www.jewishsoftware.com



Q) My wife just got up from Shiva. My question is 2 fold with a request.
1) Is there any foundation to the burning of the "7 day candle" for an entire year after the passing of a parent?If yes, where can I purchase these candles at a "reasonable" cost and not be worried of "Trefa" candles.
A) There is no reason to light the 7 day candle for an entire year. In any case, you could probably purchase them at funeral homes and http://www.kosherclub.com



Q) Please can you tell me an outline of the main stages in the growth of the Mishnah.
A) Sorry that is much to in depth of a question you may find useful information at
www.artscroll.com or www.jewishsoftware.com
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Q) I would be grateful if you could let me know in the bible does the soul live forever.
A) There is little discussion in the Bible as to the fate of the Jewish soul, but our tradition tells us that depending upon the way one has conducted his/her life in this world, the soul may, after the death of the body, travel to the Jewish equivalents of Paradise or Hell. Hell is also generally a temporary place for the soul, after which it travels to Paradise, except in the case of exceptionally wicked people.



Q) Are there any prayers that Jews say on behalf of their non Jewish loved ones? I am not a relative but a close friend of the deceased. I would like to say a prayer on his behalf but am afraid of doing something wrong. Please Help
A) You can really say many prayers for them if you wish... Some examples are Psalms
http://www.yahrzeit.org/psalms.html (choose the ones most meaningful to you) Or the Kaddish http://www.yahrzeit.org/kaddish.html which, however, must be recited in a Minyan of ten Jewish men at the appropriate times in the prayer service...

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Q) I wonder if it would be possible for you to E mail me the ritual used for the unveiling of a loved ones stone.
A) Try
www.artscroll.com or www.jewishsoftware.com

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Q) My father has passed away some thirteen years ago and I have been lighting a candle ever since his passing. My mom is still alive. This year a neighbor told me that I was incorrectly lighting the Yahrzeit candle for my father because I should only lite candles when both parents are deceased. AmI correct or is she correct.
A) Yes you should light a candle at the correct times
You are misinformed. the custom is to light a candle after a deceased person on their yartzeit. it make no difference weather a parent is alive or not. therefore you may light a candle for your father and brother. before you light the candle we state that we are lighting the candle in memory of so and so.
If (G-d should grant her a long life) your mother passes on you should light 2 candles

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Q) It is my mother's father's Yahrzeit Rosh Chodesh Ellul. Could you please e-mail me at this address to tell me if there is anything particular one should do on a yahrzeit, apart from have a minyan. eg. extra tehillim or what.
A) the minhag is to light a Yahrzeit candle from the evening that will burn 24 hr. if the person is a man he should daven for the amud and say kaddish if you are married you may ask your husband to do this (for maariv, shacris, and mincha) if their is no other mourner to be the chazon for he does not have the right to push him away for an in law. many have the minhag that after davening in the morning they give cake and juice etc. after davening. we learn mishnayis and say tehillim give tezadaka in the name of the deceased. and if possible one should go to the cemetery and recite tehillim. if one cannot go on that day they may go either the day before or after. in shul if they are reading the torah they recite kel maley rachamin after the reading of the torah.

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Q) I lost a niece to cancer one year ago. We were unable to find out if it appropriate for the parents to light a yorzeit candle for their child or if one only does this for a parent. Please write me back as soon as possible.
A) (The Rabbi Wrote) I too lost a daughter, in fact I am writing you from eretz yisroel where she is buried and her yartzeit is tomorrow and I light a candle and do all the customary things things since she was 12 years old. I hope this will help you. it does not state that you cannot conduct yourself as one would for a parent



Q) The Kaddish was the mourners prayer, but did the people of Israel also practice washing or any other acts on behalf of the dead
A)
http://www.shemayisrael.co.il/burial/index.htm

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Q) What is the custom for a person mourning a parent re: seudat mitzvah for Purim?
A) One who is in mourning should eat the Purim seuda with his family and not more than one or two guests (it can't be a "party"-- seudas mereius).


Q) Would you be able to provide (aside from the mourner's kaddish) some appropriate prayers to be said at an unveiling? Any prayers would be appreciate
A) The following tehillim is recited at the grave 33,16,17,82,91,104,130, and than 119 only those verses that spell out the decease's first name and afterwards the verses that spell out neshama "nun" "win" mem" hay" followed by kel moleh and kaddish.

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Q) I am a current student at Towson University in Maryland. I am taking a Death, Dying, and Bereavement class and I have an assignment that asks me to pick 10 items that are related to death in our culture and put it into a time capsule to be opened in 100 years. I wanted to put a yahrtzeit candle into the time capsule, however, I have a question about it? I just wanted to make sure that I knew its exact meaning. Is it to remember the deceased during bothYom Kippur and on the anniversary of their death? If this is not the exact meaning, can someone please inform me of the true meaning so that I can include this in my time capsule?
A)The yahrzeit candle represents the soul. Because of the verse "Ner hashem Nishmas Adam" (The light of G-d is the soul of man) the soul became associated with the candle. This is the reason the bride and groom, when they are walked to the chuppah (marriage canopy) by their parents, their parents are carrying candles. So in answer to your question, the yahrzeit candle is to represent the soul of the deceased and to remember them.

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Q) When searching for the text of the Kaddish I was lead to your internet homepage. In addition to the informations I could get from your website I would be very grateful if you could send me any further information about whatsoever possibilties to learn the Hebrew language and to pass studies on Judaism by internet courses or seminars provided by schools or universities located in the US, Germany or any other country.
A) Try
http://www.yu.edu


Q) Why does the rabbi put three shovels of dirt in the grave at the funeral?
A) It should be obvious that to help someone with out any possible repayment is a great Mitzvah (good deed)
One is not allowed to do anything (such as work pray learn Torah) if he is responsible to bury someone. The merit one gets regarding the dead is unexplainable in this e-mail. So therefor manually shoveling dirt on a coffin is shared by all that attend the funeral. With large religious funerals it is even sometimes difficult for all to even put one shovel on the grave.
Why the Rabbi only put 3 shovels, I do not know. It does not state in the Torah how many shovel of dirt one throws onto the Coffin, just that one shovel dirt onto it.
Most probably no one else was going to shovel dirt and he was not going to do it all himself so he just did the minimum and made sure the grave was filled before he left.

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Q) I am planning a siyum mishnayos for the first yahrzeit of my father, z'l. Where would I find appropriate material for a vort, and what should be the mood of such a gathering?
A) The purpose of the seudah is to be a zechus for the niftar and that is what the learning was for . I would say a vort on the parsha that somehow ties into a midda etc. about your father or idea that he gave over to his chidren . I would state that this seudas mitzvah is for his aliya for all the torah learning that was done was in his zechus.


Q) I have been asked to complete an assignment on the jewish religion and especially Mishnah. If you know of any info that could help me on this subject would be really helpful.
A) Try looking at or asking
http://www.shemayisrael.com/ or http://bbs.shemayisrael.com/anything

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Q) If Passover should happen to fall on Shabbat in any given year, is there not a rule that says Passover must be moved forward two days, and what is the name of this rule, (if any)?
A) Absolutely not
The only time one may desecrate the shobbos is for an actual life or death matter. Fasts days are postponed so as not to desecrate the Shabbas. The only exception is Yom Kippor which is called the Shabbas of Shabbas's When most of the holidays fall out on shobbos they are celebrated together.


Q) Could you provide the dates on which Yizkor is said for the next year or two?
A) If you are asking a question about when a specific date is, Why not try our online calendar at
http://www.yahrzeit.org/kaddish.html


Q) Is the year of mourning determined by the English or the Jewish calendar
A) The mourning is determined by the Jewish calendar


Q) Can you tell me when the jewish calendar was put into use? i know it starts with the day of creation but if you can, please tell me what day it first started?
A) In the 4th century CE
The idea that the Jewish calendar follows the 354-day lunar year and the months being determined by sightings of the new moon is biblical. Advanced astronomical measurements and calculations were made in Talmudic times as were the names of the months (ie: Nissan, Iyar, Sivan etc.) which were adopted in Babel.

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Q) My dear father szl. passed away on 4th Tishri of las year.(14th Sept. 99) He was buried on 6th Tishri. (16th Sept. 99)
1. When is the right date for the matzevah setting?
2. When is the first yahrzeit in a year with adar I and II?
A) Since it was a leap year the avelos of twelve months finishes after 12 months which means that it will finish one month ahead. however, the Yahrzeit is on the day of burial for the first year and thereafter always on the date of death. therefore in your case one would sat the unveiling on the date of burial along with all the customs of the Yahrzeit.


Q) My brother's yahrzeit is on Friday, May 19. Do we light the candle on the preceeding evening, or on the morning of the 19th? Thank you.
A) The preceding evening Thursday night


Q) I would like to get correct yahrzeits for various members of my family
A) Why not try our online resource or calendar at
http://www.yahrzeit.org/kaddish.html

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Q) My mother in law was Jewish - and she died Friday - the funeral was today, and afterwards we had everyone over our house - since I am Catholic, as most of her in-laws, we don't know too much about traditions - but I did hear something about covering mirrors with black - and so I did cover our mirrors with black sheets - everyone, especially her Jewish relatives, thought it was really nice gesture, but no one knows the reason for the tradition. Please let us know. She was a wonderful woman, always faithful to her Jewish roots - and I so loved and respected her - we will all miss her terribly.
A) The reason why we cover the mirrors is so that the mourners should not see themselves for in the Jewish religion a mourner sits seven days and does not take care of themselves therefore they are not groomed and we cover the mirrors so as not to see ourselves.


Q) My mother's yahrzeit falls on the second night of passover. Is it proper to light a memorial candle, and if not, when should it be done?
A) You should light a candle on the 2nd Night of passover and have Kaddish said. You should as well have Yizkor said on the second day of the second days of passover and light a Yahrzeit candle on the second days as well . A Yahrzeit candle is lit and Yizkor is said on all 3 Yom Tovs



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